Winter Update... with a lot of random venting...beware

So it's still winter outside, at least I think it is. It's certainly been cold if you count the crazy windchill but still I think we've maybe had a grand total of a foot of snow this year... maybe... and it certainly hasn't seemed like that much because it's mostly been what would be considered a mild drizzle if it was rain. Oh yeah and then there was the week in January where it felt like Spring for sure and it actually got warm enough where we couldn't go out on the pond. Alicia was both excited and devastated by this.

I've been really bad about posting lately. College began taking it's toll on me last semester. All the "free time" I thought I would enjoy with only watching one kid was soon replaced with the need to be a playmate to a two-year old who is perhaps the most stead-fast and sure kid I have ever met - not one deviation from what he wants is accepted right now I'm not so sure this is a good thing - the poor kid can't accept variation of his plans easily for example last night(the extremely condensed version)...
"I want Indi Joe"
"I don't know where he is hunny. "
"I want Indi Joe!"
"I think you just had him, why don't you go look for him."
"WANT INDI JOE!!!!"
"Maybe Indiana Jones is sleeping, why don't you go to sleep and we'll find him in the morning?" "NO, INDI JOE!!!"
"I know hunny, I'm sorry" at last Ryan falls asleep... not to be outdone though wakes up at 4 A.M. and comes and looks for me (not an unusual thing ::sigh:: sleep oh glorious sleep why do you evade me!)
"Mommy, where Indi Joe! Need Indi Joe"
"I know hunny. ::rolls back over::"
"Indi Joe?!"
"::trying not to growl at him:: It's still sleepy time hunny"
"::sobbing:: Indi Joe!!!"
"Ry, it's either cuddling with Mommy or going back to bed, no Indi Joe, so quiet please."
"::whimpering softly:: Indi Joe?"

I'm trying to convince myself that in the long run is self-assuredness will be a good thing... although strangely the one thing that does seem to have an effect on him when he gets like this is Alicia acting like a puppy or kitty.

So anyways, between trying to not feel neglectful towards Ryan and running Alicia back and forth from school life has definitely kept me busy. This term promises quite a bit of writing as well as stretching my academic skills and brain in ways that I'm not sure I'm all too comfortable with. My mentor (personal adviser) e-mailed me back at the beginning of December if I had thought about grad school yet or moving forward with the teaching certificates and stuff I'll need. I still haven't replied because that was just about the time I reached my breaking point where I was wondering if graduation was possible at all. Actually I'm still not sure it's possible.

Okay so that's not true, at least not this week, beginning of last week however I came close to trying to find a hole somewhere and play ostrich but this week has been better. Slow but fairly steady improvement. I know if I can make it through these next two terms it'll be worthwhile and then I get to take a long break and take care of some of the other stuff I've been dying to do like work on my writing, sewing, and scrapbooking, gardening, and knitting, and cooking and all that creative stuff that makes me happy. Who knows I might even take time to read a book just for fun or actually get my house clean for once! Hopefully my kids will forgive me when they're older. Anyways, not so sure how much blogging I'll get done over the next few months. But I'll do my best. The kids are still growing like crazy and despite their craziness they can overwhelm my best defenses with their hugs and kisses.

On a side note Alicia was just cast as young Belle in the school production of Beauty and the Beast. I had to laugh, she's always been my little Bella - my beauty inside and out as it goes. Thankfully I'm not sure yet that she realizes that she's playing the princess even if it is a younger version of the princess. She's already umm... not lacking in self-confidence, we'll have to see how it goes though, rehearsals are going to make for long days after school. I'd kinda been looking forward to using that extra time. I should have known better. As soon as the letter was sent home asking what help parents can be all my theatre days came back to me and I said of course I'll help.